You're my little dorito
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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