So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
