last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
