i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
