can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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