you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
