I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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