So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
