would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
