i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
