The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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