So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
