i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
