oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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