But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize