no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
