it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have fence marks all over my body
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
