I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize