I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize