I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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