I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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