i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
