i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
