I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
