well I can't set my house on fire every night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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