very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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