I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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