Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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