if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
