I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
