In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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