Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think i got beer on your cat.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
