So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Holy shit dude........stairs
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