You can't special order awesome
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
