dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
