More tranny stories later!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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