i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this boner is exhausting
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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