I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
