either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize