Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
