Girls should come with a carfax report
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
