I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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