ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
