I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
