Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
