You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
