I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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