Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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