It's Friday. Sex?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
