Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
