just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
