If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
