Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is Oprah even human
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
