We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
