I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
