You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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