Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
