Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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