That's intense
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
