Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
