I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
