you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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