loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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