I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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